TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
it's like iHOP with fire
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
