If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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