No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
