You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
