Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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