That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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