Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
