Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
