idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Enjoy the penises
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
