I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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