Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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