I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Need sex. Gaining weight.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
