I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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