So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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