you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
