It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
