It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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