no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
