Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
