TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize