Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize