Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
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