There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
