Kiss
Puke
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
No...this little piggys going to the bar
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
