i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
