I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
