apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
