ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize