Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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