Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I need water and some morals
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
