He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
