mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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