Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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