I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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