I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
