this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
