hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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