A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
