i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
