On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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