yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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