I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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