Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Randomize