I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
