Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
