He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
