I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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