He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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