currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
