What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
