We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
