How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
i think my cat just said my name.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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