with your own penis?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
