theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
