Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
