just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
