every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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