then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
