i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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