you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize