Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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