There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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