I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
