Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
