I'm so fucking centered right now
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Randomize
