U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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